


seeing you quietly smiling at me, then it will be okay

by mcjohnnalds



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Blood and Injury, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentions of Blood, Missions Gone Wrong, Spies & Secret Agents, poor description of medical stuff, wooseok centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-09-28 11:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20425073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcjohnnalds/pseuds/mcjohnnalds
Summary: Kim Wooseok never knew what fear meant, until he almost lost Seungyoun.aka the seungseok agents au no one asked for.a lil tw: mentions of blood.





	seeing you quietly smiling at me, then it will be okay

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Idol Producer's It's Okay (demo by our one and only Woodz)
> 
> took this from my dying nct wip and made some quick changes of it bc i wanted to write SEUNGSEOK. i'm probably going to release the original version of this with the nct pairing i had in mind some time soon.
> 
> nevertheless, please enjoy this word vomit of mine♡

* * *

Kim Wooseok never knew what fear meant. He could never understand Seungwoo’s never-ending worry every time they are sent on a mission, or when someone from their team comes home sporting life-threatening injuries or just some scratches and bruises.

The meaning of fear struck him like lightning when his rival fell limp—almost lifelessly onto his grasp. The image of Seungyoun’s beaten up body and blood stained their clothes,

and Wooseok’s mind.

Everything else went like a blur.

He only remembered screaming.

Sirens.

Seungyoun's cold hands.

And he remembered desperate begs.

He was never one to beg, not for forgiveness, not for mercy. But he remembered desperately begging to the paramedics to revive Seungyoun’s heartbeat on their way to the hospital. They were lucky to be able to bring him back just in time before reaching the hospital five minutes later.

Time has never ticked agonizingly slow for him as he waited outside the operation room. Not even noticing that a few members of his and Seungyoun’s unit arrived after his distress signal. He didn’t even notice his own bleeding arm before Jinhyuk forced him to get it patched up.

The head surgeon exited the operation room after 3 long hours, inquiring for a private conversation with one of them. They were missing their unit leader, but everyone unanimously let him follow the surgeon.

He tried his best to ignore the eerie feeling in his guts.

The head surgeon was worried about Seungyoun’s condition and decided to keep him in ICU for an indefinite period of time. _A body could barely handle this much_, she said. Blood loss, broken ribs—with one almost poking right onto his lung.

Wooseok wanted to vomit.

She must have noticed how visibly shaken up he is as she ushered him to sit down. The surgeon reassured him and told him to believe in them and Seungyoun. He thanked her before they parted ways.

He then returned to the waiting room, welcomed by worried and hopeful looks from the others. He never felt _this _hopeless in his life. He felt like crying for the umpteenth time and finally broke down when Jinhyuk wordlessly let him sob on his shoulder.

Seungyoun will survive.

He has to.

———

Relief washed over him when the doctor announced that Seungyoun could be transferred into a normal room after what seemed like weeks in the ICU. Seungyoun has shown improvements on his vitals, but the doctors still decided to keep him sedated for until a few days. Waking up with a weak body after numerous damage would be very painful for him. It was possible to pass out from the immense pain of his current condition. His body needs a few more days to rest and repair.

And Wooseok could only wait.

Days passed and the scratches and bruises that littered Seungyoun’s face have started to fade. But said agent is still lying unconscious, various tubes linked to him to keep him alive. Wooseok’s arm was almost healed, but he was still in pain.

He despises the silence that hung around them. Something he had always wished for before this nightmare happened.

He regretted to have ever wished for it.

If anyone were to describe his condition, chances are they would say he looked like a zombie. He honestly felt like one, and would probably have turned into one if it weren’t for the others. Yohan and Hangyul kept making sure he sleeps and watch over the unconscious agent in his place. Jinhyuk and Seungwoo took turns in dealing with HQ and making sure he was eating properly. Even Dohyon, Seungyoun’s favorite new recruit, was always there. Doing his best to help others, unknowingly becoming his emotional support when others leave for other missions.

But tonight, it’s only him and the continuous beeping sounds of Seungyoun’s heartbeat.

———

A knock on the door alerted him awake from his little nap. He hears the door click open but soon relaxes after he recognized the footsteps.

“I got you a breakfast burrito and tea.”

Wooseok could only mutter a hoarse thanks as he watches Seungwoo, leader of his unit—place a brown paper bag onto the coffee table. “How is he doing?”

“No signs of anything yet.” Wooseok sighed onto his hands. “But he’s getting better, I hope.”

The older gave him a small, yet encouraging squeeze on his shoulder.

“Have faith in him. He’s a fighter. He survived everything contrary to popular belief.” Seungwoo says, sparing a glance at his unconscious rival. “He’ll be up before we know it.”

“How could you—”

“Be so sure?” Seungwoo challenged, sporting his trademark knowing smile. “He’s my best friend first, _then_, rival unit captain.”

Wooseok didn’t know why, but tears started to well up in his eyes. “It’s been what? A week? Eleven days with no improvement?”

“Wooseok, listen—”

“Had I listened to him instead of my big fucking ego…” Tears were streaming down his face but he couldn’t care less. Seungwoo has seen much worse than him crying. “…None of this would have happened. He wouldn’t be fighting for his life…He wouldn’t be lying here, unconscious for days, while I…”

The older wordlessly pulled him into a hug and let him let out his pent up fear and emotions. The older kept denying his words, shaking his head every time Wooseok blamed himself. Deep down, Wooseok knew it was his fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but him, Seungwoo was just too nice to say so. The older let him cry his eyes out for a good five minute until his breathing was back to normal.

“This is all my fault. You knew that. Everyone fucking knew that.” He managed to choke out.

“You know he would smack your tiny head for the self-blame? You know how much he hates self-blames.” Seungwoo broke their hug and pushed him away until he could look at Wooseok straight in the eyes.

“And I’m saying this from personal experience. I’m older, taller, and stronger than he is.”

The image of his strict and buff leader getting his head smacked by Seungyoun brought a smile to his face. The older seemed pleased with his reaction and smiled, and Wooseok felt like he has finally calmed down.

“All I’m saying is, don’t blame yourself on this. Shit happens in mission. And—” Seungwoo’s ringtone cut him off. “It’s HQ. I have to take this call.” Wooseok nodded and Seungwoo went outside.

He sighed as the door closes. He then looked back at the sleeping agent before him, hands automatically found their way back to hold Seungyoun’s. Holding his hand has become a habit to him, especially when he sleeps. It helps him battle the sense of guilt that kept haunting him every time he as much as closes his eyes. He brought their hands closer to his face, letting the other’s stubby fingers grace his cheek. His eyes were droopy thanks to the worrying amount of sleep he has gotten for the past few days, thanks to Hangyul’s absence.

He was almost lulled back to sleep to the beeping sounds of Seungyoun’s heartbeat when he felt a slight movement.

“Seungyoun?”

He was sure it was Seungyoun’s fingers that had just moved. He let go of his hold and let the Seungyoun’s hand lay on top of his own palms. And as he had been hoping for days, the older showed more movements albeit small. He could feel and see Seungyoun trying to stretch his fingers a bit more, followed by a faint suck of breath.

“Hey there…Hey. Take it easy, alright?” He whispered. The older hasn’t opened his eyes but let out a soft grunt. Wooseok smiled at the response he received. Then Seungyoun started to mumble something gibberish under his oxygen mask, but he could clearly understand what Seungyoun was saying.

_Not…your…fault_.

Tears welled up in his eyes again. He couldn’t have overheard his conversation, could he? Did his cries wake Seungyoun from his much-needed rest? He felt like his stomach had just dropped at the last thought.

“Hey,” He started, testing out his voice now that he has started crying again. “I’m…I’m going to get the doctor to check on you, okay?”

The older managed to weakly grab a hold of his sleeve before he could leave. The weak tug on his sleeve can’t really stop him, but a whisper of his name made him frozen in place. He watches as the older furrowed his brows together like he was in deep thought. He hears another suck of breath followed by another whisper.

"…stay.”

So Wooseok stayed.

The pain on his back slowly woke him up. He stretched his back on his chair and blinked out the sleep out of him a few times before noticing a figure mindlessly sitting on the sofa across to him—who he found out to be Dohyon, fingers dancing on what he remembered to be Seungyoun’s Nintendo Switch.

“Oh, hyung! You’re awake!” The younger chirped, finally noticing him.

“I ate your breakfast earlier. Seungwoo hyung texted me earlier to do so in case you haven’t eat it, which you did by the way, cause it goes bad quickly. Hope you don’t mind.” The younger explained, eyes never leaving the device on his hands. Wooseok couldn’t help but smile and thanked him.

“I’ll buy you lunch right now. What do you want?” Dohyon said, letting out a quiet squeal in the middle before abandoning the device on the sofa.

“I’ll have what you’re having then, Dohyon. Thank you.”

“Chicken feet it is then.” The younger exclaimed before making his way to the door.

Wooseok then noticed Seungyoun's stubby fingers, holding onto his pinky finger like his life depended on it. He then looked at the sleeping man and found that his oxygen mask had been replaced by a nasal cannula. His eyes widen in surprise, all the drowsiness left his system.

"Seungyoun hyung woke up earlier, while you were sleeping. And I got the doctor to check on him." The younger explained, seemingly to have sensed Wooseok’s surprise and questions.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Wooseok half-yelled and Dohyon just looked at him, ignorant to how absurd it was to the older.

"He told me not to." Dohyon nonchalantly said before leaving the room.

Wooseok scoffed and held Seungyoun's hand again. His breathing was even, and he looked really peaceful in his sleep. And after what felt like months of waiting, Wooseok feels like he was able to breathe again.

"You're unbelievable, do you know that." He muttered, no venom in his voice, just plain exasperation, and amusement—to which Seungyoun responded with a weak squeeze. His lips curved slightly upwards at Wooseok’s words.

Seungyoun is okay,

and he is definitely going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> it's been months since i last wrote a fic IM SO SICK. i hope the timeline and pacing aren't too confusing ;~; 
> 
> let me know what you think of this in comments, and leave a kudo too if you liked this fic♡ have a good day/night everyone and stay hydrated!
> 
> also yes, i made an X1 twt account.
> 
> come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/doubleseungs)


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